People Don’t Buy What You Do They Buy Why You Do It

a Framework to discover your why

Here are a few things you can do to brainstorm where your why comes from – even if you haven’t figured out exactly the connection between your why and what you do…or even if you haven’t yet figured out EXACTLY what it is you’re doing.  This activity will help give you some grounding in what drives you.

Being able to build your business by tapping into the deep motivating factor will not only help you become more authentic in your marketing message but will help root you to your purpose and drive your ability to push through when things feel heavy.

First, remember that you don’t need to “find” your why.  You never lost it.  You just need to truly develop the ability to see it for what it is.  

This activity is much easier to have a trusted friend with you whom you can spend an hour really going super deep with you..you can’t take turns answering it – this time needs to be dedicated just for you. You need to be able to emotionally connect and trust them as that is where the good stuff is.  It’s buried 7 or 8 layers deeper than where you think it is lying.

Follow these questions to get started – and after you answer the questions, peel back a few layers and dive into truly telling the story around the question.  Don’t answer it in a few seconds – really think on it for a moment and see what surfaces for you.

Record the conversation – even if it’s for yourself pretend as if you’re being interviewed and record your answers to each question.

The questions:

  1. Tell me about what you loved to do as a child?
  2. Tell me about your parents – describe them physically and emotionally
    • How did they help you become who you are today
      • Negatively 
      • Positively
    • What did they use to say to you growing up?
  3. What other people in your life made an impact on you? Tell me about them-
  4. What did you want to be when you grew up?
    • Why? What impact did you want to make? 
  5. What causes / activities concerned you most as you grew up? Why?
  6. When you used to daydream as a child, what did you dream about? Where did you think youd be as an adult? How did you think adulthood would be? What things did you used to say to people as a child?
  7. What stories do you remember? 
  8. Tell me about your pets? Your childhood best friend? sports/activites you participated in?
    • What did they teach you about growing up?
  9. Can you tell me about your first crush? Your first heart break? Your first disappointment in life? The proudest moment you’ve had growing up?
  10. How did you process hard things growing up?
    • What were some of those hard things?
      • How did the lessons/trauma of those hard things play out in your life? What did it teach you about yourself?

Personally, doing this activity was a pretty emotional experience for me. So be gentle on yourself as you’re doing this. And again, please be sure you have someone you feel you can truly open up with. Don’t forget to turn on your voice memo on your phone and record the conversation so you can go through it later and identify the stories that surface from this that way you don’t have to “take notes” while you’re going through the activity, but can go back and select the stories and develop your “why” later.


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